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As most of you probably know, I'm currently in the US, and I've been here for almost 3 weeks now. Before leaving a lot of people talked to me about reverse culture schock; that it might be worse than the initial culture shock I experienced upon leaving for Korea over a year ago. I guess to me it's seemed as though coming back has been easier in a lot of ways, but also a little difficult in other ways.

For example, it was unusually strange to have to use English when talking to a server at a restaurant at first. This might seem strange, but I went out with my friend Sheji a couple of weeks ago, and my initial impulse when ordering food was to speak in Korean! I thought that was very interesting.

One thing that I thought was a little difficult at first had to do with communicating with some of my friends. Generally a lot of my conversations with my friends are about reminiscing on common experiences that we shared in the past. But what seemed to hinder conversation at times was the fact that for the past year we haven't had any experiences together because we haven't been in the same place.

At first it seemed hard for me to have conversations with a lot of my friends because any time a subject came up in conversation, I tended to relate it back to something in Korea. I guess to say the least, I was a bit tired of only being able to think about things that I've done for the past year. But after about 2 weeks that changed, and I seemed to have an easier time talking with people. I guess in terms of culture shock, that was the most difficult thing.

Coming home after being abroad is interesting because there are still a lot of things that have remained the same, but there are a few things that have changed. At the Constant Spring Pub in Goshen, I noticed that they remodeled a section of the bar that I found myself sitting in every Tuesday evening for trivia when I was living in Goshen. I was schocked and asked someone “Where's our table?” Another big change is that since graduating from Goshen, the entire art department faculty has changed, with the exception of my ceramics teacher Merrill Krabill. But most of Goshen and Minneapolis have stayed the same, and I've really been appreciating the familiar things that make both Goshen and Minneapolis feel like home.

After being away I've been able to appreciate the things that used to be normal. In Minneapolis, I was surprised at how bright the sun seemed. In Seoul there are so many tall buildings, so the sun doesn't seem to shine as brightly as it does in Minneapolis. The sun seemed especially bright when I made my way down to Goshen, and looked out the window of the bus I was riding to see vast flat farmland with the sun shining over the midwestern landscape.

In Seoul in particular along with the tall buildings, there isn't hardly any natural grass, so it was truly amazing to see grass when I came home. Of course grass is so normal for me, and for my whole life up until now I've lived in a place with grass everywhere. But seeing grass was a familiar site that stood out to me, and made me think "There's no place like home."

It's been a good few weeks, and I look forward to my last week in the states. I'm really glad that I got to see my friends and family, and I've been able to see a lot more people than I thought, which is also really good. Although leaving again means that I will be away from everyone back here, but at the same time I look forward to going back to Korea.

Success!

At Connexus, the way our program is set up is that we teach classes on a monthly basis, and so it's common for me to have new students every month. As a result, sometimes I have students who come for a month or two, and then leave after that, and sometimes I have students who come to Connexus for longer than that.

Interestingly enough though, not many students stay at Connexus for more than 4 months on average. This was a bit concerning at first because I wasn't sure if it was because I wasn't a good teacher, or because my students had other obligations. But many students in particular come to Connexus for a short period, and the reasons are usually because they are planning to go abroad, or because they are university students and they want to practice English during their summer and winter vacations.

Anyway, I've made a number of mistakes as a teacher, and at times I haven't been able to teach every student that walked into the door. So in some ways it's a bit discouraging to have students come for such a short period, and then decide to stop taking classes. It's also discouraging when students leave and don't tell me exactly why they are leaving.

However, I felt like last month was my most successful month, which ironically was also one of the most stressful months working at Connexus because of the whole moving transition, and also having a really full schedule.

This past summer I was blessed to have some very bright and cheerful students. In my writing class in particular, I had students in that class who not only possessed the motivation to write and study outside of class, but also had the courage to ask me questions in class (many students are fairly shy, so sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get them to actually speak in English and ask questions). It also helped that they were very good at speaking English. Not only was I able to dramatically improve their writing, but I also was able to help them answer some very challenging questions.

In this class last month, a student named Ray asked me what the difference between saying "think about" and "think of" was (which is actually quite challenging to explain). So I thought about his question, and got back to him with the answer the next day. Upon hearing my response to this question, he simply said to me "this is why I come to your class". I was so touched to hear that from a student.

In another class last month, I received a hand-written letter from another student named Ayoung saying that she had a lot of fun in my class, and although she has to go back to university, she plans on coming back to take a class again. It was great to hear that as well.

However, I think one of the best compliments I've heard from a student (which was also coincidentally last month as well) came from my morning class, which for the past year has felt like a class that I could never seem to get to improve a lot. This student, named Su Yeon, came to class on the last day of the month and told me that she was no longer coming to class. At first I was a little disappointed because she had been in my class for 3 months and I thought she was going to continue taking class. However, she brought me a gift, and told me that the reason why she was leaving was because she had improved her English enough to find a better job for herself, and so she was going to look for a new job.

I realized that for Su Yeon, I was able to do something that I have been trying to do for all of my students, which is to help them improve their English to achieve their personal goals. When students come for only a few months, it's really hard to see them improve their English speaking ability. However, to hear so many compliments really made me feel really good.

I don't find my job to be that easy, and I find it hard to feel really successful in what I do. But after hearing that I was able to help students improve their English ability was something that really boosted my mood when having to deal with a stressful period.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's great to feel truly successful in what I do!

The Adventure Continues

It's been quite awhile since I've made any updates to my blog, but due to my busy schedule, I find that it is hard these days to find time to sit down and write. But I want to update everyone on my plans for the future.

Due to a long and drawn out process involving my school Connexus possibly moving, I was unable to make a decision about my future. But I now am able to make a decision.

I've decided to extend my term for another year. Of course I was hoping to make a decision sooner, however because of the moving situation, it was hard to know what the right decision was for me. The whole process of moving was pretty complicated, so I'll try to explain why Connexus had to move, and why it took me so long to make a decision:

The area that I work in, called Gangnam, is a really expensive area in terms of renting a building for a small business, and last fall Connexus was in danger of possibly going under because of the high cost of the building that we are currently in. So at that point there was talk of moving the location of Connexus.

In addition, KAC (Korean Anabaptist Center) is the "parent company" of Connexus, and thus provides input in terms of direction for Connexus. Now because we are in such a wealthy area, many of the people that we teach are among the privileged elite in Korea. So by serving the most privileged people, what I am doing as a teacher doesn't exactly align with the mission of the Mennonite Church's values of serving the needy. In a nutshell, staying in Gangnam is not necessarily the best place to serve the underprivileged.

As a result of some of these factors, the idea of moving was seen as a way of changing to fit the mission of the Mennonite Church in Korea. However, Connexus also serves as a source of income for KAC, so at the same time it is beneficial to stay in the same area because moving somewhere else would mean losing most of our students as a consequence.

In addition, Connexus was initially supported by a couple of investors, and one of these investors is demanding that we pay them a sum of money per month for the next 2 years, should Connexus remain in Gangnam. This of course puts another burden on the organization as a whole, and it of course has complicated things even further.

So a few weeks ago some of the members of the KAC staff had a meeting to decide where we should move, and the two options at that point were Gangnam (where we are now), and Chun Chon, a city outside of Seoul.

After a long meeting the decision was made to move to Chun Chon, which was a decision that wasn't received well by the Connexus staff. In particular, my greatest concern with this move was that we would have to basically start over in terms of teaching and programming for Connexus.

To say the least, I was not enthusiastic about this decision. I was pretty upset because in my mind the decisions I had to make were as follows:

1. Stay with KAC/Connexus and not know what was going to happen.

2. Stay in Korea and find a new teaching job, but take the risk of working at a place that I'm not comfortable with (some teachers I've talked to have said that there are some places that are terrible to work at)

3. Go home and try to find a job

I was very stressed out because what I really wanted to happen was to just stay in Gangnam, and continue to do the things that we are doing. Right now I'm not ready to make such a dramatic change.

But because of the negative reaction from the teaching staff, a few days later, we had a meeting with the majority of the KAC and Connexus staff. During that meeting, all of the teachers were given the opportunity to voice their opinion, and the majority of the teachers wanted to stay in Gangnam. As a result the initial decision to move was reversed, and the final decision has been to stay in Gangnam.

After hearing about this I decided to stay. However, I am going to be coming to the US soon. But I'm actually going to be coming back in October rather than September, so I have more time to plan ahead. I'm hoping to visit Minneapolis and Goshen while I'm back, but I'll try to see as many people as I can.

I hope to see you soon!

A Difference in Values: Group Mentality vs. Individualism

When I first arrived in Korea, I was surprised by how similar everything in Korea is compared to the US (at least when it comes to living in Seoul). Not only is Seoul a fairly modern city that has many similarities to a city like New York, but you can also find just about anything that you can get in the US. In fact the only thing that I haven't been able to find is deodorant. (I brought a lot with me when I came).

However, one big difference between American culture and Korean culture is that Americans typically value individuality and uniqueness, whereas Koreans typically value group mentality and conformity.

For Americans, while we try to become part of a group as a way of receiving social acceptance, such as joining a club or a sports team, we also value uniqueness. At least for me I often dress a certain way or act a certain way because I might be part of a group, but I also am valued because there are certain things about me that stand out, and that make me different from my piers. My choices as an individual are what make me special in my own way.

Conversely, standing out is something that is often times seen as a negative thing for many Koreans. Instead of acting based on personal preferences, it is more common to see Koreans act based on what the group decides to do as a whole. Essentially, there is more emphasis on being part of the group, and not try to deviate from the group mentality. However I do have to mention that it isn't like anyone can't make individual choices. But more often than not, people will do things because they want to fit in with a certain group.

This became an interesting revelation, and it actually explains a lot. For example if a Korean person bought a red car, it would be really strange, whereas if an American decided to buy a red car, it reflects positively on them because they made a choice based on their individual preference. If I were a company worker working at a place like Samsung, driving that same red car would draw attention to me in a negative way, and could possibly hinder my ability to climb up the corporate ladder.

Another example is when Koreans do many active sports (such as hiking, skiing, or biking). It's very common to see Korean men and women decked out in all the gear for whatever activity they might be doing. Usually when I see people going for a hike, they have everything from the hiking boots to the matching hat, shirt and pants that go with it. The same goes for biking and skiing. One thing that I wonder though is whether their apparel has any indication of their skill level. I know for Americans, if you dress like your good at a sport, it's probable that you are, and if your not you might be victim to criticism.

Now some of these examples that I highlighted are all based on speculations made based on what I've observed, but at the same time it gives me a possible reason why people here do certain things.

When I think about this difference in values, I don't think about it as though the Korean way is a bad thing. It's just different. Also, saying every Korean does these things is also untrue. There are many people who make choices based on their own personal tastes rather than on group mentality. However, it's not as common as what you might find in the US.

I'd like to conclude by thinking about it this way:

Both Americans and Koreans seek out being part of a similar social group. The difference is that Americans tend to deviate from the group because uniqueness is valued by Americans, whereas Koreans tend to conform to the group because conforming to the group standards is what is valued.

Korean Weddings

Korean weddings are somewhat similar to weddings in the US, but there are some very distinctive differences. I'm actually not sure about how weddings were different in the past, but these days many Korean weddings are in a wedding hall. What's interesting about it though is that people reserve the wedding hall for a specific time of the day, and the ceremony and reception often last an average of about 2-3 hours. Also wedding halls usually have more than one chapel, so there can be many weddings going on at the same time.

What surprised me the most when I went to a Korean wedding for the first time is that there were so many people at the wedding hall, but not all of them were there for the same wedding. There were many different couples getting married at various times in different chapels, and it was a bit strange seeing so many people who weren't necessarily going to the same wedding.

In addition, in Korea there is no limit to how many people can go to a wedding, and so you don't really need a formal invitation. Typically as a gift you are only required to give money (usually about $30), so as long as you give the couple money, there's no problem with you going to a wedding. (My housemate Yoon-Seo and I thought about crashing a wedding sometime for fun!)

Of course this greatly contrasts with Western weddings, which are traditionally held in a church, and there is only one wedding going on, and an invitation is a requirement for the most part. However, much of the ceremony is similar in a lot of ways. Both the bride and groom convene at the front of the church, with a member of the clergy as the wedding officiant. The pastor says some things and they kiss and such. But one difference is that the couple must bow before the parents, and the groom has to bow down to his knees!

Following the wedding is the reception, but at the wedding hall they prepare a buffet for everyone, so people from all of the weddings gather in the same area to eat, and you simply just sit at a table with the people that you know. Of course at a buffet you can eat and drink as much as you want, but since there are so many weddings happening in one day, your usually can only sit down for about an hour and a half.

To say the least it was an interesting experience. I don't think I would want to have a wedding like this, but it's really convenient only having to pay a fee for a wedding to a wedding hall, and then everything for the most part is taken care of. Also I like the idea of people just giving money. It's much simpler than having people go out and buy a gift for you that they think you might need.

Also not every wedding is exactly like this. I've been to four weddings, and only one of them had the ceremony at a wedding hall. Three of them were at a church, and one of them had the reception at a wedding hall. So even though many couples get married at a wedding hall, it's not a requirement. I think most people get married at a wedding hall because it's so convenient.

A Goal to Remember!

Well it seems like it's been a long time since I've done something spectacular when it comes to playing soccer. Today was a day in which I can say I did something special.

Earlier today I had a soccer game with my new team Bundang FC, and we played against a team that was not only dirty, but they dived a lot. To say the least, it was frustrating to see people do a tuck and roll as soon as you touch them.

Anyway, we started the game with only one substitute, so I got mentally prepared to play the full 90 minutes of the game. In the first half we seemed to dominate the game by scoring 2 goals, one of which was a header from our 6'-4" tall center forward named Stu, and the second goal came from a easy tap in off of a rebounded shot that I took after doing a couple of spin moves past two defenders!

It seemed as though we were going to easily win the game, but the other team scored a penalty kick a little bit later, making the score 2-1 at halftime.

The second half we scored another goal making it 3-1, but we made it a little hard on ourselves by allowing them to score a second goal soon after. Up until the 78th minute, we held them to a 3-2 lead, but one of their players ended up tying the game with a near post shot. Thus the game was tied at 3-3.

It seemed as though we were going to tie the game, despite having played a pretty decent game. But we continued to press on.

In the 89th minute, Evan, one of our outside mid-fielders, won the ball off of a defender and passed the ball to me near the penalty spot of the opposing teams box. The ball came bouncing to me, and I had to make a split second decision about what to do next. Now usually in this situation I would do a couple of things:

1. I would try to take a shot, and probably miss kick the ball and it would go out for a goal kick (or perhaps a throw in).

2. I would try to control the ball and take a more controlled shot, which would usually be a good idea, but it often times gives the other team a chance to try and block the shot.

I chose option 1, and instead of kicking the ball out of play, I drilled the ball into the top right corner of the goal!

Bundang FC: 4

Other Team: 3

I jumped with joy while also running back to our end of the field after the goal, and my teammates followed and cheered with me in celebration of what would surely be the winning goal of the match. In a surprise move, one of the players grabbed my shorts and pulled them down enough for me to in fact moon the opposing team. So to add insult to injury, the opposing team was down by a goal towards the very end of the game, and got a glimpse of my butt as well!

I've played many soccer games throughout the course of my life, but none of the goals I have ever scored will be as dramatic as this one. I'm grateful for having the opportunity to do something spectacular, and I can certainly thank my teammates for the effort that they put in throughout the game.

But I think what will make this memorable is that I did it during a time where I was really missing playing soccer, and by scoring today I was reminded of one of the many reasons why I like playing so much.

One of the things that I thought about after the game was that it wasn't a goal that I scored during a high pressure situation in a game that seemed like it meant the world. I scored in a game that didn't matter that much in the long run. It was more memorable than any moment that I played on the soccer team at Goshen College, and it may have been the best goal that I have ever scored.

One might wish that it would have come in a more critical game, but for me it came at the perfect time. It came at a time when it didn't matter if I missed the goal or not. I thought about how much pressure I was under playing competitively in school and club soccer, and I think if I would have felt less pressure during those times of my life, I could have scored more goals like the one I did today.

To say the least, I'm happy that I scored.

Bundang FC and Dating

Well it's been awhile since I've written in this blog. In terms of the day to day life, things have become pretty much normal and routine. The greatest variable in my life has been teaching classes one month at a time, and having to learn new names of students every month.

At first it was incredibly difficult to learn about 20 new names a month, but as time has progressed it seems to be much easier to learn students names. In fact, it has now become much easier to learn the names of other westerners, because of the familiarity that comes along with knowing western names.

During the past five months, some of the things that I was missing the most were basically my family, my friends back home, and soccer. Of course, it's difficult to have friends and family come all the way across the world, but recently my cousin Britta and her boyfriend Jeff have come to Korea to teach English, and it has been fun hanging out with them for the past week and a half that they've been here. In regards to playing soccer, I've had very few opportunities to play, but it is something that I have been able to do more recently.

I looked online for soccer leagues in Seoul, and I found a soccer team composed of mostly English guys, with a few Americans, Koreans and Canadians also on the team. The team name is Bundang FC, and our mascot is a monkey :). I've played with the guys a few times now, and in our first game I was voted man of the match, and received a hefty 2000 won for my prize (less than $2). I was of course just really happy to be playing soccer again, and I will be continuing to play with these guys for most of the summer too.

On another note, recently I've gone on a couple of dates with a girl named Ji Won, who I met for the first time on a blind date set up by one of my coworkers. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen, but she seems pretty nice, and she can speak English well, so most of the time the language barrier isn't a big issue.

It made me think a little bit though about what the possibilities for a foreigner to date a Korean, but especially a black foreigner. I've heard that there are a number of women that are only interested in dating Korean men, and I've heard that sometimes it's due to pressure from the parents of women that they shouldn't date foreigners. It's really interesting and quite different of course from the US where it's not as big of an issue.

However, many of the guys on my soccer team are dating Korean women, and a couple of them are on the marriage path, so it seems like it's not a big issue for at least some people in Korea. In fact, one of the guys that I play with is from Cote D'Ivoire, and he's also dating a Korean girl, so I guess it's reassuring. I think what it comes down to really is that I just have to meet someone who's okay with me for the way I am, and on the plus side Ji Won seems to think that I'm a good guy :).

Anyway, it's been awhile since I've written anything interesting, so I thought I'd write again. Someone should send me a package or something. So far I've only gotten a card from my church. Also, if there are any birthday present requests, I'd be interested in sending some packages from Korea as well. Thanks to those of you who have sent me emails and have kept me updated through Skype and email.

If anyone wants to call me, Skype is the best way to contact me (my Skype name is jesseaj1), and also if you call sometime on Thursday evenings in the US, that's probably when I'm the least busy. Otherwise email is good too.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Banana Man: 1, Jesse: 1

HE'S BACK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Due to the cold weather brought upon by the winter cold this last November, I think my newest nemesis, the Banana Man, had finally been silenced by the cold, frigid air brought upon by Old Man Winter. But because the weather here has been steadily getting warmer, my nemesis has returned with his truck, his megaphone, and his bananas!

I found this out recently when I was walking from my apartment to the nearest subway station. Sure enough, as I progressed towards the subway, the annoying voice that I had been so happy to no longer hear, had returned once again in full force!

Interestingly enough, I can tell that I've learned some Korean, because he's actually not selling bananas (I guess I just assumed that he was selling bananas), but in fact he's talking about cameras and cell phones. I also found out that he doesn't just sell cameras and cell phones, but he also buys them from people. This information, while being interesting, doesn't do anything to negate the fact that he's still attempting to "ruin lives."

On the positive side, he hasn't been able to bother me while I'm sleeping. So for the time being, his efforts have not had the same effect on me that they did before. I think it's because I'm much more used to living in Korea than I was before.

I think I deserve a point!

Banana Man: 1

Jesse: 1

Reaching the Halfway Point

Well it's been almost 6 months, and I've reached what may or may not be the halfway point in my journey in Korea. So far things have gone well, despite having the occasional bad day, or times when I have trouble with either understanding the language or culture of Korea. But I'm not sure exactly how long I should stay.

When I first decided to come to Korea, I was coming with the intention of staying for a year, and then returning back to the US in August of 2010. Before going I was pretty much set on the idea of going back in a year.

However, I've been having second thoughts about my initial plan to return to the US after a year of teaching, which is due to a number of factors. I'm still having fun, but lately, due to a pretty tiring and busy week, I haven't been having as much fun as I did before. I think part of it is due to the fact that things are pretty much normal for me now, and so the initial honeymoon that I had is now over. But that isn't to say that I'm not enjoying myself. It's just that the thrill of being in a new place is starting to wear off a bit.

I'm now faced with a decision though where at some point in the near future I have to decide on whether I should go home, or whether I should stay.

On the one hand, I'm still enjoying my job and I have fostered many positive relationships while I've been here for the past 6 months. I'm enjoying the food, and I live in a pretty comfortable living situation.

On the other hand, I'm far away from my family and friends, which occasionally means that I have to miss out on some of the occasional gatherings and holiday celebrations. Also, for a country where soccer is such a popular sport, most of the people I meet don't actually play, and I've only played twice since I've been here (I hope this spring I'll find more opportunities to play though).

What is also a large factor to consider is that KAC and Connexus are moving to a new place this August, and the only thing that I know is that we will at least be in Korea. But the issue that I may face is that KAC/Connexus might move to the countryside, which if that's the case, I could see myself getting extremely bored. I like going to the countryside every once and awhile, but I'm not at all interested in moving to the country.

Anyway, it's one of those times in one's life where you have to make a decision about the future. In the end I'll just have to go with what I think is best, but if anyone has any input they want to give me, I'd be happy to read some comments that you might have.