Year 3: A Familiar and yet New Beginning

So I'm back in Korea for another year! I now work at a new company called Chungdahm, and despite the fact that things have been really busy for me, so far things are going well! Chungdahm contrast greatly with my old job working at Connexus, so it's been a bit of an adjustment going from having to create and implement curriculum for adults at Connexus, to working at Chungdahm with kids where there is specific curriculum as well as a specific methodology to implementing the curriculum.

Training at Chungdahm sucked, and it reminded me of finals week in school! But teaching so far has been quite good. I teach kids now, which has been an adjustment, but they are great and they are really fun! In addition, everyone at Chungdahm has been really helpful in my transition. Many people here have been really good to me, and have helped me along the way, whether it be teaching advice or even just coworkers who have been friendly and have hung out with me outside of work. I could name a few names, but I might as well just name all of my coworkers at Chungdahm who have been really supportive, and have made me feel at home while I have been here.

Coming back to Korea has felt like a familiar, and also a new experience in some ways. I was surprised upon returning that I retained most of the Korean that I learned, even after 5 months of being away. In fact, my friend Brian said that I speak Korean better than I did 5 months ago!

Now when I left Korea back in September, I knew that when I got back things would be different. But imagining the differences is one thing, and experiencing the differences is a whole other thing. In particular I've been able to see a lot of my friends from my old job at Connexus. But while I've been gone, Connexus went through a huge transition, and thus as an institution has changed dramatically. As a result, many of the people that are and once were connected to Connexus have gone on new paths in their lives, both in career and in life. What has been a bit strange for me is that in my mind I think I still assumed everything was the same, and then came back and was a bit in shock that many things had changed. But at the same time I am glad because all of my friends here seem to be doing well, and although things are different, my friends are just as awesome as before!

All in all, despite the things that have changed, things are going well! I'll try to post some pictures of my new home soon!

My Third Knee

A couple weeks ago I got injured while playing soccer. Surprisingly enough, I was going for the ball, and instead of the guy kicking me, I somehow ended up kicking him in the bottom of his shoes with my left leg. A few minutes later, I had a huge bump on my leg the size of my knee!

Anyway, I went home, iced it and took some ibuprophin, and it seemed as though my leg was going to be okay soon. However, after about 5 days, nothing had changed, so I decided to go to the hospital.

The doctor did some X-rays, and as I assumed prior to going, I didn't have a broken bone. The doctor then recommended that I do some physical therapy, so I went to the physical therapy room at the hospital.

When I got there, there was a group of nurses at the front desk, and they seemed very surprised to see a foreigner. Their English also wasn't the best, so it took them awhile to tell me that I should sit down and wait until they were ready for me.

The experience ended up being both funny and inexpensive. When they were ready for me, one of the nurses escorted me to an area sectioned off with curtains. At this point, I was of course assuming that they would now be doing something to my left leg, so I thought perhaps she wanted me to roll up my left pant leg. However, I also thought maybe she wanted me to take off my pants instead!

Now I can't remember the last time a girl asked me to take off my pants, but the thought of this young girl struggling to ask me in English to take off my pants was quite amusing and a bit awkward. But considering I was in a hospital, it seemed like a pretty ordinary question to ask someone. I think because of the whole language barrier it made it seem a bit awkward, but also amusing enough that we both stood there in silence, with me having a big smirk on my face :)

Jesse: Hello

Nurse: Hello

Jesse: So...Umm...should I lay down or something?

Nurse: Ah...do you speak Korean?

Jesse: Not really. Do you speak English?

Nurse: A little. Ah....모라고지? Umm...okay.

Jesse: (Does she want me to take off my pants?)

Jesse smirks. The Nurse feels nervous

Nurse: Short pants!

"short pants" is a Konglish* expression for shorts. So she brought me shorts and left so I could change into them.

Amazingly enough, after everything was over I paid a total of about $15 for X-rays, doctor consultation, physical therapy and medication for my leg. Wow! Why can't healthcare be this cheap in the US?

*Konglish means English words that Koreans use, which are actually not correct expressions in English, despite the fact that they are using English words. Another example is the word "Fighting", which is a Konglish expression for "You can do it!" as well as other things.

I forgot I had a Blog

Well... not really. I've just been busy with work and everything.

In late December our head teacher Soon-Jae made an announcement saying that she had decided to leave Connexus in January. Her reason was because she and her husband Harry had decided to move to Chile. (Harry is actually Korean. I forgot what his Korean name is.) Harry's mother and some of his siblings live down there, so I think the plan to move was motivated by that fact.

Anyway, this has of course left a vacancy in our staff, and I was asked to possibly take her position as head teacher. However, due to my busy schedule as a full time teacher, I wouldn't be taking this position until my contract ends at the end of July. So for the time being I would remain as a normal teacher.

But after thinking about it more, I don't think it is something that I want to do. The advantages of the head teacher position would be that I would be overseeing teachers, scheduling classes, conducting monthly workshops and teachers meetings, and I would be in the classroom less, which sounds like something I could do. This would also involve less teaching time, but more responsibility. But the disadvantages that I see though are that their wouldn't be much of a pay increase, and I would continue to do the same thing. I like teaching English, but I don't see teaching as a long term career for me. Maybe teaching is something that I could see myself doing long term, but for now I'm not sure.

So probably I won't be taking the position, but this raises a different concern, which is what I plan on doing after my contract is up. At this point here are my options:

1. Stay at Connexus as head teacher for an additional year starting in August.

2. Leave Connexus and find another teaching job in Korea. (This would also mean that I would have to stay for an additional year)

3. Leave Korea and try to find something new to do, whether it be back home or another country.

I think for me though it's a really hard decision to make because nothing seems to be pulling me in any particular direction. On the one hand, living in Korea is good, and there are a lot of conveniences to living in Seoul (such as good public transportation, cheap food, and job stability). On the other hand though, I feel like if I choose to stay longer, I might find myself regretting staying because I think for me teaching English is not my long term goal. Also I'm a little homesick, so going home also sounds like a good choice.

Anyway, I'm not sure what my plans are at this point, but I'll try to keep everyone posted on what I plan to do.

Home

As most of you probably know, I'm currently in the US, and I've been here for almost 3 weeks now. Before leaving a lot of people talked to me about reverse culture schock; that it might be worse than the initial culture shock I experienced upon leaving for Korea over a year ago. I guess to me it's seemed as though coming back has been easier in a lot of ways, but also a little difficult in other ways.

For example, it was unusually strange to have to use English when talking to a server at a restaurant at first. This might seem strange, but I went out with my friend Sheji a couple of weeks ago, and my initial impulse when ordering food was to speak in Korean! I thought that was very interesting.

One thing that I thought was a little difficult at first had to do with communicating with some of my friends. Generally a lot of my conversations with my friends are about reminiscing on common experiences that we shared in the past. But what seemed to hinder conversation at times was the fact that for the past year we haven't had any experiences together because we haven't been in the same place.

At first it seemed hard for me to have conversations with a lot of my friends because any time a subject came up in conversation, I tended to relate it back to something in Korea. I guess to say the least, I was a bit tired of only being able to think about things that I've done for the past year. But after about 2 weeks that changed, and I seemed to have an easier time talking with people. I guess in terms of culture shock, that was the most difficult thing.

Coming home after being abroad is interesting because there are still a lot of things that have remained the same, but there are a few things that have changed. At the Constant Spring Pub in Goshen, I noticed that they remodeled a section of the bar that I found myself sitting in every Tuesday evening for trivia when I was living in Goshen. I was schocked and asked someone “Where's our table?” Another big change is that since graduating from Goshen, the entire art department faculty has changed, with the exception of my ceramics teacher Merrill Krabill. But most of Goshen and Minneapolis have stayed the same, and I've really been appreciating the familiar things that make both Goshen and Minneapolis feel like home.

After being away I've been able to appreciate the things that used to be normal. In Minneapolis, I was surprised at how bright the sun seemed. In Seoul there are so many tall buildings, so the sun doesn't seem to shine as brightly as it does in Minneapolis. The sun seemed especially bright when I made my way down to Goshen, and looked out the window of the bus I was riding to see vast flat farmland with the sun shining over the midwestern landscape.

In Seoul in particular along with the tall buildings, there isn't hardly any natural grass, so it was truly amazing to see grass when I came home. Of course grass is so normal for me, and for my whole life up until now I've lived in a place with grass everywhere. But seeing grass was a familiar site that stood out to me, and made me think "There's no place like home."

It's been a good few weeks, and I look forward to my last week in the states. I'm really glad that I got to see my friends and family, and I've been able to see a lot more people than I thought, which is also really good. Although leaving again means that I will be away from everyone back here, but at the same time I look forward to going back to Korea.

Success!

At Connexus, the way our program is set up is that we teach classes on a monthly basis, and so it's common for me to have new students every month. As a result, sometimes I have students who come for a month or two, and then leave after that, and sometimes I have students who come to Connexus for longer than that.

Interestingly enough though, not many students stay at Connexus for more than 4 months on average. This was a bit concerning at first because I wasn't sure if it was because I wasn't a good teacher, or because my students had other obligations. But many students in particular come to Connexus for a short period, and the reasons are usually because they are planning to go abroad, or because they are university students and they want to practice English during their summer and winter vacations.

Anyway, I've made a number of mistakes as a teacher, and at times I haven't been able to teach every student that walked into the door. So in some ways it's a bit discouraging to have students come for such a short period, and then decide to stop taking classes. It's also discouraging when students leave and don't tell me exactly why they are leaving.

However, I felt like last month was my most successful month, which ironically was also one of the most stressful months working at Connexus because of the whole moving transition, and also having a really full schedule.

This past summer I was blessed to have some very bright and cheerful students. In my writing class in particular, I had students in that class who not only possessed the motivation to write and study outside of class, but also had the courage to ask me questions in class (many students are fairly shy, so sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get them to actually speak in English and ask questions). It also helped that they were very good at speaking English. Not only was I able to dramatically improve their writing, but I also was able to help them answer some very challenging questions.

In this class last month, a student named Ray asked me what the difference between saying "think about" and "think of" was (which is actually quite challenging to explain). So I thought about his question, and got back to him with the answer the next day. Upon hearing my response to this question, he simply said to me "this is why I come to your class". I was so touched to hear that from a student.

In another class last month, I received a hand-written letter from another student named Ayoung saying that she had a lot of fun in my class, and although she has to go back to university, she plans on coming back to take a class again. It was great to hear that as well.

However, I think one of the best compliments I've heard from a student (which was also coincidentally last month as well) came from my morning class, which for the past year has felt like a class that I could never seem to get to improve a lot. This student, named Su Yeon, came to class on the last day of the month and told me that she was no longer coming to class. At first I was a little disappointed because she had been in my class for 3 months and I thought she was going to continue taking class. However, she brought me a gift, and told me that the reason why she was leaving was because she had improved her English enough to find a better job for herself, and so she was going to look for a new job.

I realized that for Su Yeon, I was able to do something that I have been trying to do for all of my students, which is to help them improve their English to achieve their personal goals. When students come for only a few months, it's really hard to see them improve their English speaking ability. However, to hear so many compliments really made me feel really good.

I don't find my job to be that easy, and I find it hard to feel really successful in what I do. But after hearing that I was able to help students improve their English ability was something that really boosted my mood when having to deal with a stressful period.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's great to feel truly successful in what I do!

The Adventure Continues

It's been quite awhile since I've made any updates to my blog, but due to my busy schedule, I find that it is hard these days to find time to sit down and write. But I want to update everyone on my plans for the future.

Due to a long and drawn out process involving my school Connexus possibly moving, I was unable to make a decision about my future. But I now am able to make a decision.

I've decided to extend my term for another year. Of course I was hoping to make a decision sooner, however because of the moving situation, it was hard to know what the right decision was for me. The whole process of moving was pretty complicated, so I'll try to explain why Connexus had to move, and why it took me so long to make a decision:

The area that I work in, called Gangnam, is a really expensive area in terms of renting a building for a small business, and last fall Connexus was in danger of possibly going under because of the high cost of the building that we are currently in. So at that point there was talk of moving the location of Connexus.

In addition, KAC (Korean Anabaptist Center) is the "parent company" of Connexus, and thus provides input in terms of direction for Connexus. Now because we are in such a wealthy area, many of the people that we teach are among the privileged elite in Korea. So by serving the most privileged people, what I am doing as a teacher doesn't exactly align with the mission of the Mennonite Church's values of serving the needy. In a nutshell, staying in Gangnam is not necessarily the best place to serve the underprivileged.

As a result of some of these factors, the idea of moving was seen as a way of changing to fit the mission of the Mennonite Church in Korea. However, Connexus also serves as a source of income for KAC, so at the same time it is beneficial to stay in the same area because moving somewhere else would mean losing most of our students as a consequence.

In addition, Connexus was initially supported by a couple of investors, and one of these investors is demanding that we pay them a sum of money per month for the next 2 years, should Connexus remain in Gangnam. This of course puts another burden on the organization as a whole, and it of course has complicated things even further.

So a few weeks ago some of the members of the KAC staff had a meeting to decide where we should move, and the two options at that point were Gangnam (where we are now), and Chun Chon, a city outside of Seoul.

After a long meeting the decision was made to move to Chun Chon, which was a decision that wasn't received well by the Connexus staff. In particular, my greatest concern with this move was that we would have to basically start over in terms of teaching and programming for Connexus.

To say the least, I was not enthusiastic about this decision. I was pretty upset because in my mind the decisions I had to make were as follows:

1. Stay with KAC/Connexus and not know what was going to happen.

2. Stay in Korea and find a new teaching job, but take the risk of working at a place that I'm not comfortable with (some teachers I've talked to have said that there are some places that are terrible to work at)

3. Go home and try to find a job

I was very stressed out because what I really wanted to happen was to just stay in Gangnam, and continue to do the things that we are doing. Right now I'm not ready to make such a dramatic change.

But because of the negative reaction from the teaching staff, a few days later, we had a meeting with the majority of the KAC and Connexus staff. During that meeting, all of the teachers were given the opportunity to voice their opinion, and the majority of the teachers wanted to stay in Gangnam. As a result the initial decision to move was reversed, and the final decision has been to stay in Gangnam.

After hearing about this I decided to stay. However, I am going to be coming to the US soon. But I'm actually going to be coming back in October rather than September, so I have more time to plan ahead. I'm hoping to visit Minneapolis and Goshen while I'm back, but I'll try to see as many people as I can.

I hope to see you soon!

A Difference in Values: Group Mentality vs. Individualism

When I first arrived in Korea, I was surprised by how similar everything in Korea is compared to the US (at least when it comes to living in Seoul). Not only is Seoul a fairly modern city that has many similarities to a city like New York, but you can also find just about anything that you can get in the US. In fact the only thing that I haven't been able to find is deodorant. (I brought a lot with me when I came).

However, one big difference between American culture and Korean culture is that Americans typically value individuality and uniqueness, whereas Koreans typically value group mentality and conformity.

For Americans, while we try to become part of a group as a way of receiving social acceptance, such as joining a club or a sports team, we also value uniqueness. At least for me I often dress a certain way or act a certain way because I might be part of a group, but I also am valued because there are certain things about me that stand out, and that make me different from my piers. My choices as an individual are what make me special in my own way.

Conversely, standing out is something that is often times seen as a negative thing for many Koreans. Instead of acting based on personal preferences, it is more common to see Koreans act based on what the group decides to do as a whole. Essentially, there is more emphasis on being part of the group, and not try to deviate from the group mentality. However I do have to mention that it isn't like anyone can't make individual choices. But more often than not, people will do things because they want to fit in with a certain group.

This became an interesting revelation, and it actually explains a lot. For example if a Korean person bought a red car, it would be really strange, whereas if an American decided to buy a red car, it reflects positively on them because they made a choice based on their individual preference. If I were a company worker working at a place like Samsung, driving that same red car would draw attention to me in a negative way, and could possibly hinder my ability to climb up the corporate ladder.

Another example is when Koreans do many active sports (such as hiking, skiing, or biking). It's very common to see Korean men and women decked out in all the gear for whatever activity they might be doing. Usually when I see people going for a hike, they have everything from the hiking boots to the matching hat, shirt and pants that go with it. The same goes for biking and skiing. One thing that I wonder though is whether their apparel has any indication of their skill level. I know for Americans, if you dress like your good at a sport, it's probable that you are, and if your not you might be victim to criticism.

Now some of these examples that I highlighted are all based on speculations made based on what I've observed, but at the same time it gives me a possible reason why people here do certain things.

When I think about this difference in values, I don't think about it as though the Korean way is a bad thing. It's just different. Also, saying every Korean does these things is also untrue. There are many people who make choices based on their own personal tastes rather than on group mentality. However, it's not as common as what you might find in the US.

I'd like to conclude by thinking about it this way:

Both Americans and Koreans seek out being part of a similar social group. The difference is that Americans tend to deviate from the group because uniqueness is valued by Americans, whereas Koreans tend to conform to the group because conforming to the group standards is what is valued.